No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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