She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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