You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
