and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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