We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
