Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
