i was born a porn star she said
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
