I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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