your thong is hanging out like whoa
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
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