This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's never too late to be topless.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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