actually, I'm a sock model
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize