Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
