I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
