Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
