Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
