So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
