I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We're too hungover to prance.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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