She is in my trunk
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
