My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you would pick up someone in the library
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
