..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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