I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
