Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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