Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
