Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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