Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
