i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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