"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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