I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he puts the penis in happiness.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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