the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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