absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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