Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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