Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize