Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
