you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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