people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
