just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
