How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
