I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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