who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i dont even know how to be here
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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