just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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