we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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