She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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