the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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