I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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