I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she pinky promised me she was 18
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
