You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
