I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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