I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
