is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
