when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize