you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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