Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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