so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
