Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
