But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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