If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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