My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
