you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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