how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
