Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
