ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
