i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
