Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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