New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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