Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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